i remember when you took this.

tired from balboa-summer's green.

my eyes were heavy from low est-eem.

you knew you it.

i knew it.

beautiful for a moment

but in essence, a hard day.

clickity-clock

clickity-clock
the time turns
one more day gone
another one returns

go i feel; go to stay
ansy dancing
pas de bourrée?

stand up straight
voice is clear
my hair is par
smile in stitch

clickity-clock
another one comes
please wave high
please hug tight
pray for him
pray for her
go home

another day returns.

language, you pain me so

Language:

from the depths of being I yearn for union;
where word becomes flesh and
mind flushes to page.
my
strings of thoughts panting.
illusions are racing.
utterances detained.

don't you hear my cry or
my ever-present brain-pang?

loosen the chains.
set my tongue free,
imperatively
eagerly,
despairingly.

Let thy Word reign.

typical

(buzz buzz)

Binks.

finally.

i know.

Nikki, did you dream last night?

i don't remember.

oh, well, I did.

what happened?

your dad gave us advice.

Rebekah, I can't interpret right now.

i'll call you when you're interested.

i'm just tired.

i know.

Loves.

Loves.

(push 'end')

My greatest desire is to be stretched by LOVE's fight.
Reaching, Calling, Satisfying, Rectifying you come towards me.
I can not thank Ye enough.
I also don't understand.
For what ever it is worth...I give you thanks again.

daily dual

bereft,
derelict, deserted, desolate,
forsaken,
lorn,
forlorn

insert,
interject,
interlard, interpolate, interpose,
inject

Hee-Ya.

Beginning Rewind...Forward: Thoughts on Re-Creation...

As I have walked now with the Lord for 15 years there has been a recurring experience, where I think I comprehend just who God is then He completely throws me way off. Why would I think, why should any of us think, He should interact with us any other way?

The scriptures show us from the very first chapter, from the very first sentence of the Bible, that God is dynamic; He is repeatedly performing deeds that Wow his Beloved people, that continually and ironically prove his Consistent and ever-faithful Character!

There is One identity descriptor of God I have recently discovered that is completely overlooked….God as Creator. We tend to see God as Creator within the limits of the one “creation account”. Now, if you want to look at and use scripture in way that forces you to construct lists and make sterile conclusive statements about God, then, in my humble opinion, God’s nature as creator does exist within the pages of Genesis 1-2. But what fun is that? Honestly? That doesn’t do justice to what God wants to reveal to you!

I’m sure there is more to what I am about to say, however, I beginning to see the creation account as a home-base, a premise, a thesis, a foundation for all the different ways God manifests his Nature. It is the main and primary piece to God’s character development in this story of hope and life.
This book is not a manual, it is a poetic, romantic and daring epic of truth that is to speak and shape our physical and spiritual reality!

The premise begins- Genesis 1:1-3
1. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3. And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
4. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.

Several verses later, God creates Adam’, “man” in Hebrew. This is the only instance of God’s creations throughout the six-day period, that God made something in His own Image.

We, as readers of this story, can see immediately that the activity between man and God is so different and so special compared to any other.

Three times the scripture says in Genesis 1:27, God “created.” This is extremely significant in that three signifies in the Hebrew culture, divine. There is a divine branding, spiritual genetic DNA that no man or woman can detach themselves from.

It is the “Ruach,” God breathing into us that has made Him unable to stop loving and turning away his attention from us.

It is our divine mark that has kept God so faithful in giving us ridiculous amounts of chances over to return to His intended relationship with us throughout all history.

Humankind has tried to sever his and her ties to their Creator by denying both who they really are and who God really is.

In the Garden of Eden, when God declared all was “good”, and functioned as planned, man and woman took a turn to feast their desires on themselves, which eventually, lead into generations of broken relationships, hard-ache, competition amongst peers and defilement of love. Mankind was found in wanting, walking and scraping for dear life in this new dark abyss waiting for a new created order to occur.

Since then, time and time again God has and still is somehow bringing us back to the first story, to the creation scene. He is graciously confronting us with His nature as Creator. We cannot escape him.

Isaiah 40:28 NAS
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.

Let’s think about several ways God has revealed to us this continual interplay between his greatest creation and his faithfulness to his nature as Creator:

Before the Garden- before man and woman there was physical darkness.

Man and Woman and all creation lived in relationship with God. There was light. God’s order was in place.

Humankind fell. Relationship to God was broken and now enters murder.

God moves to restore his creation, through the cleansing of bringing on a flood and using a righteous man named Noah to do so. Order is re-established.

Disorder reigns as man builds a temple in attempts to worship himself.

God calls Abraham and makes a spectacular promise to him to lead all generations into a covenantal love, an agreement to make sure his people will one day be rejoined with Him. “And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed." The Lord said.

Then God’s people are enslaved. God uses a man who feels he has nothing to offer and compared to the sight of man, he was right. God uses Moses to lead the people out of the land of despair into the land of abundance and hope.

The people of God have forgotten how their Creator has saved them, how He has loved them, But God can’t seem to give up.

The word used to describe his Love is constant, it is everlasting, it is forever faithful and it doesn’t hinge on any conditions. He will love until he sees his creation brought back to where all is restored. God is not only Savior, He is Lover.

Nehemiah 9:17 NIV
They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.

Kings fell. The people God called out and saved were worshipping creatures as opposed to their Creator and Savior.

400 Years later, God speaks through a man named John the Baptist, another misunderstood individual of society. He said, in so many words, Change your way of thinking for something new is coming! “Repent for the Kingdom is at hand.”

Jesus Christ, God in the Flesh, who was there in the beginning, who grieved and loved His people, came and walked, talked, healed and ushered in the long lost dominion and Kingdom of God.

Taking on the disorder and the muck of the world, Jesus became the final Word and miraculous Deed that would bring all creation back to the place where it once left.

Through the darkness of Jesus’ death and the light of his resurrection, God created a new order of people who exist and participate in God’s redemptive Creative scheme to see all creation restored.

Everyday, our lives as Christians we are, if we know it or not, are characters in God’s Creation account.

Scripture show us that we, like the first days of creation, have been saved from the darkness and have been welcomed and called into the Light.

We find ourselves alive and engaging in the world around us.

And through this dramatic act God has done is continuing to do for us, we too are to do the same. For the Bible says….

1 John 4:11 NIV
Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

This imperative instruction is rooted in God’s Great and inspiring nature:


Romans 8:39 NIV
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We can never separate ourselves. We can never not be known by the God who created us, saved us and loves us.

one of many

I saw a man in tight blue jeans and a faded yellow-t.

He spoke of his mother less tenderly.

He waved his hands to swipe the hoarders away.

He had no place to stay.

He itched his ear several times too many, only wishing he could reach inside-

Down to the depths of his heart where his one true voice cried.

i'll drop a thought

The rain is one of the most illustrious life-speaking symbols we encounter on God's creation. What is amazing is no matter the culture, since the days of the great flood, people have understood rain as the natural act of the heavens outpouring of life. It is through this cosmic offering the reality of pain and joy is poetically expressed. The natural earthly elements take shape and interact with God's captivating creation. The rain pours, Discomfort makes her way known, and when all is said and done, flowers bloom, birds chirp, hearts revive, the rainbow shines, promises are proclaimed and ALL creation is more alluring than moments before.

The Challenge

The challenge we all face at one time or another is to become free. You say, “How can this be a challenge? We all want to be free!” But my question for us to honestly answer is “do we”? Well I can’t think of any better way to describe it than this…it is unnatural for you and me to be in slavery of any kind. Since the severance of communion between The Father and His Children, humanity has been born into an unnatural environment that socializes the vulnerable into, what a college professor of mine would call non-living peoples, “pawns”. This socialization process is deadening to the soul, so much to the degree that Life/ freedom seems unnatural to the slave. The slave is even suspicious of such a thought.

The greatest tragedy is to exist without recognizing what has been done and what is continuing to happen. Over the past six years, I have undergone a de-socialization and HUMANizing process that has overwhelmed and energized my, unbeknownst to me, PERSON-hood. This search for Freedom began when I became aware of my vulnerable humanness. I decided at that point to live NATURALLY. Thus, I no longer wanted to be slave.

The remnant of enslaved pawn-existence is still noticeable in me. To be honest it is difficult to forget the patterns of old. But today is the new day, to take a step into unknown territories, where Freedom is closer and LIFE becomes the known reality I was made to live.

Fast.

We all have been moving so fast! Missing the feast.
Our hearts are still famished and our eyes cannot see.
You call us to freedom. We are continually oppressed.
"Set the captives free," you say? How can we get away?
The pull is so strong, don't you understand?
Yes, I do, I felt it in my hand.
Remember, I lifted you up, fed and held you tight?
"Clothe the naked," you say? But what about our great plight?
Listen to my voice, is all I ask.
Remember, you will Seek and Feast with me when you finally fast.

iMagiNation...the gift found in my head

A thought God gave me after dwelling on his creative and dynamic interaction in our lives:

Be courageous enough to embark on a new journey of living! Take steps into unknown places, like many saints from the past, and eventually the wind from the east will standstill. Stay clear of the barters and desert storms that may sway you back. Watch for the sun; respond to sweet breath from the north. Soon after sojourning un-reached places, you will notice the lands are simultaneously unknown and utterly familiar, and the sun beams evermore.

It's Alter time!

If any of you have ever read the classic, socio, psycho and philo-work "Habits of the Heart" then you will most definitely feel and hopefully grasp my frustration when I say, "I hate specialization."

How in the world did we as human beings become so removed from walking freely from corner to corner of the earth long ago, with no agendas, anxieties, and especially no desire to OWN something? We westerners (those plagued by Enlightenment to the most appalling degree) cannot, no matter the belief system, remove ourselves completely from the struggle of propriety, and frankly, I despise this!

Confession...I mostly despise this about myself. I am a walking "fear bomb" waiting to go off as soon as I realize, my "specialty" means absolutely nothing! Therefore, I must keep busy to distract, to disorient and to manipulate myself. In some sick way, I feel compelled to sustain a pseudo-reality that was fed to me by those of limited understanding of Ultimate-Reality and who have also fallen into psychological and spiritual traps that believe this life is nothing but a journey of compartmentalization.

When I think of a remedy to this plague, I think of the word Repent. Now I know many of us have associations, memories and ideas concerning this term that make us cringe, for whatever reason. For me, the word has been used carelessly and irreverently. But over the past week, this word has been revived in my heart and mind. It no longer makes me cringe, rather inspirits my being.

Time to elaborate- in my bible class this past week, we discussed the True Gospel Jesus proclaimed. During this time of exploration through dialogue and language study, we got stuck on the word, Repent.

Did you know, in the original Greek, this word actually means to “alter your thinking”! My professor expanded on this idea more and more, and by the end of the session, I felt as though many of us in Christian circles have been fooled, thinking it all has to do with getting actions into check. At that point, I thought my actions are all good- but my thinking is destructive! My thinking hasn’t been altered (and I do believe this is a life process); I still feel captive to strange and wayward ideals. My thinking is involved in an existence where practicalities matter and specialization reigns.

However, here’s the kicker for me: When the last prophet before Christ preached, “repent for the Kingdom of God is near”, he was inaugurating a NEW way of thinking. To all walks of life, he [John the Baptist] says, “alter your thinking for the greatest reality exists! You must believe it to see it!! Let go of the old ways of thinking. You don’t have to hold on to what people want you to be, or what tradition and culture says is right about your identity. The Kingdom is near and it is outside of this world. Let go of the old and embrace the NEW!"

I'm all for it...Repent.

New CaTeGORies!

The epistemological categories we are all accustomed to are not helpful or even sensible to the Kingdom Living we have been talking about.

The Church of Christ is beyond (or at least should be) the categories that make most sense in today's understanding of "what works".

Look, I have been indoctrinated just as much as you have. I am not outside of culture, our current linguistic epidemic, nor institutional pedagogy and neither are you. However, if you are a step ahead of me and are aware of epistemological categories I need to know and impart to those I love, please inform me.

(Just a little rant about my current and unceasing frustrations about the Church and human existence).

Blessed Are You, My Friend

The Gospel (really good news for humans) Jesus preached, in Matthew 5:3-12, and the Kingdom He makes available, offers hope to the earthly down and outs.
(expanded by Dallas Willard and friends).

Blessed are the poor in spirit
["the spiritual zeros- the spiritually bankrupt,
deprived and deficient, the spiritual beggars,
those without a wisp of religion'"],
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn
["the weeping ones"],
for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek
["the shy ones, the intimidated,
the mild, the unassertive"],
for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness
["who burn with desire for things to be made right...
in themselves" or in others],
for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful
[those who are "taken advantage of"],
for they will receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart
[those "for whom nothing is good enough,
not even for themselves"],
for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers
[the ones "in the middle" where "neither side trusts you"],
for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for righteousness' sake,
[those who stand up "for what is right"],
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you
and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account
[you've "gone off your rocker and taken up with that Jesus"].

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven,
for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.


May you and I be blessed and encounter the blessed today.

reflection

Nothing enriches my life more than when I see miracles in the ordinary life unfold in what appears to be mundane.

I love the mundane. We don't give Mundane enough credit. Now, I know I am personifying an adjective, but I think it is rather appropriate.

It is when we welcome Mundane that Extraordinary walks into the room. Mundane and Extraordinary catch each other's eyes and they begin the sweet dance that catches everyone's attention. As they glide across the dance floor and the music plays, people begin to wish they moved the same way. Moments later, the music stops and Mundane and Extraordinary gently let go of each others hands, they await the applause of their audience and notice the faces in awe. As tears roll down cheeks, and playful laughter resounds, Mundane and Extraordinary look once again at each other and say, "it was wonderful to share this dance. We must do it more often."

The Kingdom of God: as alternative ReAliTY

Jesus says in Matthew 16:19-16:19
"You have complete and free access to God's kingdom, keys to open any and every door: no more barriers between heaven and earth, earth and heaven. A yes on earth is yes in heaven. A no on earth is no in heaven." What does this have to do with what we have been talking about? Last week we focused on what a disciple to Christ is. This week our focus on discipleship is all about the why question. Why do we become a disciple to Christ? Simply put because there is no greater option. No other person or thing can offer the wondrous world Christ teaches and offers to us. We are blessed to be his disciples.


Today, many of us Christians just exist. Mediocrity, fear, anxiety, insecurity are still permeating the lives of those, who so-called responded to the life of Christ one day back in a church, camp, or in front of television screen. Why? Because the profession of faith has not been taken seriously. Today, the profession of faith has little to do with the whole of our lives, has little to do with discipleship, more specifically it fails to encourage the learning of Christ's rhythms. We fail to take upon us his yoke, his teaching, which is light and brings peace.

In our current situation majority of Christians fall in one of two groups: The Conservative group, being on the right side of the spectrum, and the liberal group being on the left side of the spectrum. On the right, being a Christian is a matter of having your sins forgiven. To the left, you are a Christian if you have a significant commitment to the elimination of social evils. Popular notions of Christianity in today’s society hold that, a Christian is either one who is ready to die and face the judgment of God or one who has an identifiable commitment to love and justice in society (according to Dallas Willard). That’s it!

Although these groups differ on many levels…they have something in common. They both are lacking in participating in the alternative reality known as the Kingdom of God. Neither group is acknowledging the abundance and miraculous hope in Christ in this present life! Being a disciple is about seeing and participating in this present life.

As disciples we can’t talk about discipleship without addressing the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God, the alternative reality, is what Christ preached. And we being his disciples must have this teaching ingrained into our hearts and minds.

The Kingdom of God is the good news that is set a part from all other ‘truths’, gimmicks and expectations of the world. No other person can break barriers between the heavenly and earthly realms except the God of the universe; The Christ incarnate, Jesus.

In the passage Matthew 11:1-6 we see Jesus declaring what the Kingdom of God is all about. It is relational, personally intertwined with normal, ordinary life and most importantly it is extremely unexpected- Jesus moving and acting unexpectedly and unconventionally in the normal world. This story, this narrative, is not only an example of Jesus’ ministry of healing, but it is also a proclamation of the Kingdom of God.

Some of you are asking what is the Kingdom of God. There are many kingdoms in this world. Just to name a few...there is the kingdom of competition, the kingdom of prejudice, the kingdom of sexism, materialism...the list can go on and on. But ONLY one has the true power and that One is Ruled by Christ. Some call this the upside down kingdom, which means, what takes place is extraordinary and incomprehensible. When we decide to participate in this kingdom, we are abandoning the realm of death and stepping into the realm of LIFE. All is possible HERE. We are finally free and great things happen. People’s lives are changed and we become the people God desires us to be.

Speaking of the unexpected nature of the Kingdom of God... In this passage, these healings and exorcisms (those that we read about throughout the rest of this gospel) do not set Jesus apart merely as a miracle worker of extraordinary power, but are primary indications of the kind of messiah that He is. The question in verse 3 by John the Baptist, “"Are you the One we've been expecting, or are we still waiting?" Jesus’ answer consists of pointing to his IDENTITY- The KIND of Leader, Ruler, Savior, Shepherd he is. His He says, "Go back and tell John what's going on: 5 The blind see, The lame walk, Lepers are cleansed, The deaf hear, The dead are raised, The wretched of the earth learn that God is on their side. This is HIS ANSWER.

This shouldn’t have been a surprise to John, but for some reason it is. Perhaps tradition, in all practical purposes, was greater in the eyes of the people, rather than truth. I’ll explain. The manifestation of the KOG did not conform to the national/ political aspirations, or to the traditions of religion, but it did conform to the words of Old. The word God Spoke through Isaiah 42, 49, 50 and 53, Reveal and set the stage for this leader, the true Leader of all, Christ. The messiah, the one who welcomes and brings forth the Kingdom of God who bears the infirmities and weaknesses of the people speaks through his healings as signs that the Kingdom of God has arrived in person.
No one had seen anything like it. Those even committed to the Jewish faith, like John Baptist were expecting something different.

Today we are a people struggling with the same issue. Many times we fail to recognize and realize what the Kingdom of God is all about. Perhaps we are too indoctrinated with tradition, rather than the teachings of Christ. For this reason we become disciples.

I don’t think there is any reason not to follow. Show me gimmick that can transform all reality for you or me, like Jesus can. Show me something miraculous that breaks barriers between heaven and earth. You can’t. We are called to be Christ’s disciples to learn the ways of his Kingdom and experience the unforeseen and joyfulness in and outside of this world: Where God is relational, intimate, personal, living, compassionate and his WORLD IS MIRACULOUS!

PICTURE THE KINGDOM
Isaiah 49:7-12
7 God, Redeemer of Israel, The Holy of Israel, says to the despised one, kicked around by the nations, slave labor to the ruling class: "Kings will see, get to their feet - the princes, too - and then fall on their faces in homage Because of God, who has faithfully kept his word, The Holy of Israel, who has chosen you." 8 God also says: "When the time's ripe, I answer you. When victory's due, I help you. I form you and use you to reconnect the people with me, To put the land in order, to resettle families on the ruined properties. 9 I tell prisoners, 'Come on out. You're free!' and those huddled in fear, 'It's all right. It's safe now.' There'll be foodstands along all the roads, picnics on all the hills - 10 Nobody hungry, nobody thirsty, shade from the sun, shelter from the wind, For the Compassionate One guides them, takes them to the best springs. 11 I'll make all my mountains into roads, turn them into a superhighway.

The Invitation To Discipleship and New World

AfterMeditations in response to sermon on 9.17.06....

Matthew 11:28-30
28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. 29 Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30 Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

We become disciples of Jesus only because we are desperate to abandon the forced rhythms of life AND eager to see something new and out of this world manifested in all reality. Jesus' disciples finally rest. They finally are free. And they finally give true hope to the world.

blog-on.

I am a part of community who loves me and I love them. We desire to see the depths of our souls take shape into something beautiful and touched by the divine. We can only hope to be a reflection of the true shepherd as we journey genuinely and honestly together in this thing called "body-life".
We need to pray and support one another. We need to listen to the Greatest teacher and see to it that we always remember his work in our lives.
The Teacher we love is calling our names. He calls us with tenderness and joy. May our ears be attentive to his whispers and sometimes loud cries.

...our hope and prayer as we journey the path together.