thoughts after my time with Pastor Em

grievance draws nigh,
emptiness gives sigh,
subside,
no more idolize,
final-ly my spirit lifted High.

IS Beyond the shore...

reject me that's fine
you incise my pain
from depths of despair
words without say

away from me terror
you have no home
you were told to leave
8 years ago

step away dear one
you have no love
i am a child, a beauty, One's new dove

i hold back none
you say nothing back
you incapable fool

can you handle this
you were never present
i will not deny
our lives were all a lie

that was then, tis now i see
my real Father has come to set me free
He calls my name, my name of worth
the one you left to lazily desert

who am i? ah, for you know.
Nic as in the Vic- of the tory, from place of Unease
set unrest done with apathy
past Shun the Cunning disrupt
all the lies of your corrupt

i say goodnight and await the morn
the good IS coming beyond the shore.

melody of ISAIAH...

a song of my heart...

...

Jesus,

The times I needed a companion most, you were there.
The times I needed a daddy most, you were there.
The times I needed counsel most, you were there.
The times I needed words to speak, you shared.
The times I needed comfort most, you whispered to me then.
I need you now. I need you here. I need to know you care for me in this slight moment of fear.

not about Both anymore

I used to want opposites to exist together.
I used to desire to be held tight and loosely.
I used to crave control without fear.
I used to believe without patience.
I used to touch without intimacy.
I used to be brash with compassion.
I used to think God was love while I hated.
I used to act before praying.
I used to pretend something was real.

However, now...
I know I can't have both.
I know I have to let go.
I know fear is not an option.
I know I must be patient.
I know touching isn't enough.
I know compassion is my passion.
I know Love.
I know praying is everything.
This is real.

Taking Care of Each Other

I never thought I would say this (and mean it):

In God's economy redistribution of wealth is not limited to cash.

For many years, I have been passionate about encouraging the financially stable and very able to give out of their measurable and equitable abundance. However, over the past couple of months I have learned, as I have seen the people of faith come together, wealth is defined more by willingness and amount of talents intentionally contributed towards God's loving work.

The people of faith at the local church I am a part of are beginning to see the fruit and sense the fulfillment that comes from the giving of their unique self for the sake of another. From giving cash, creativity, organization skills, logic, encouragement and on and on...everyone is blessed inside and outside the community by giving the variety of wealth that exists due to God's graciousness.

I believe in and I have seen the beauty Christ's Church can be...She is radiant and the richest amongst them all.

(The Toy Store in the picture could not have happened without all the people giving something special...and I don't just mean gifts...)

repent.

eminence for nothing
slogan-jargoning is your tip
fradulent signs leading to demise

repent.

mass confused putative love
SEX-tioning infiltrates
planted sordid exchange

repent.

ignoble leading
suspending flames incinerate the names
arrows of disdain maiming precious left to decay
altruism three feet deep
followers refrain from the insane, for if they knew...they would change

repent.

Sunday... Point a to b

"Miss, Do you have time for Democrats?"

Walking out of Whole Foods the question below was asked:

"Miss, Do you have time for Democrats?"

My Response:
Sir,
The reason it took me several seconds to respond to your question is because your question elicits something other than democratic. If you understood the nature of language you would have been more careful in your tactics to to converse with a thoughtful person. Now, if you would have said, "Miss, Do you have time for people?" then I would have given you a different response. I am not interested in participating in activity that strips me from my democratic priveleges nor anything that makes me less than a unique human being who by nature cannot be easily categorized.

Respectfully,

Nicole Renaud

Breath

Deep seated emotions elated me to His throne.
I bowed my regard and found I own nothing.
The Heavens were bent and His ear turned towards my lips;
I cried feeble sounds into the divine abyss.
"Do not worry, My Child," He whispered. "Do Not cave in."
"My Love for you can only be known in this moment of breath."

"Hallelujah," I declared.
My eyes watered tears,
The earth shook around me and so did my fears.