not about Both anymore

I used to want opposites to exist together.
I used to desire to be held tight and loosely.
I used to crave control without fear.
I used to believe without patience.
I used to touch without intimacy.
I used to be brash with compassion.
I used to think God was love while I hated.
I used to act before praying.
I used to pretend something was real.

However, now...
I know I can't have both.
I know I have to let go.
I know fear is not an option.
I know I must be patient.
I know touching isn't enough.
I know compassion is my passion.
I know Love.
I know praying is everything.
This is real.